To create change you need to shift your mindset. As you think so you will be. If you are stuck, then you have two choices:
Clearly, I don’t mean this literally, however as the photo shows, in 1973 I gave it a go on the edge of a stone bridge over a Creek. Well, I can’t say that anything changed but 44 years later the following insights came to me as I re-looked at the photo:
1. To create change you need to shift your mindset. As you think so you will be. If you are stuck, then you have two choices – go Victim and remain where you are or fully commit to do whatever it takes to move forward. It’s like being at the 64km mark of an ultra-marathon and every part of you is screaming to find a way to drop out. The thing is, that life is not going to come running up to you with a hug and a kiss and a bucket load of understanding. In life, if you choose not to dust off and get up, nobody can help you. So, begin with the correct attitude, even if that is a recognition that you are stuck, you cannot shift your mindset or situation, but you are willing to ask for help.
2. So now you are willing to consider shifting your attitude and be open to considering that you may be as much a part of the problem as you are a part of the solution.
3. Are you on the stage living the story and believing you are one of the characters or can you climb down, even if only for a brief moment and sit in the audience and watch the show! Changing the place you view and experience things from, can be as powerful as doing a handstand on the edge of a creek. Somehow things can change when you get back on your feet. And yes, there is always a risk. As they say, no pain, no gain. How can you move forward if you are not willing to address, feel, understand and heal those wounds, grief, pain, anger or other Claymores that are locked away behind closed doors? Everything lives in your body. So, when your body whispers to you “Listen to me, hear my grief, feel my sadness, understand my loss, care for my pain”, if you abandon the wisdom of your body, how can you expect others to do for you what you avoid doing! It’s not easy feeling but see it as energy held and encapsulated from a long time ago. It cannot kill you. It can hurt but slowly moving through the tunnel of your past, and if necessary, with appropriate help and guidance, will eventually take you back into the light.
4. To you Veterans out there – it’s simple! No pull through results in a stoppage. Are you willing to strip and clean your moving parts or are you choosing to run into a stoppage? There are many out there who are waiting to run with you, but there are very few if any out there who will drag you over the 84kms while to choose to sit by the side of the road.
5. The Healing process is not simply a fluffy crystal laying, didgeridoo massaging, chanting session where you just lie back, and everyone does the work for you. Be great if we could experience change while remaining passive on the massage table. I see this in the drumming circles I have run over the years where there are Men and Women in their core and their power that hit the drum. And then there are those “fluffy men” sensitively stroking the drum skin.
6. Whether you are a Veteran , or a Civilian, a Man or a Woman, ask yourself the following questions – Is my Man in charge of my Boy or is my Boy in charge of my Man (for you Women out there, if you’ve connected with a Man who is soft, constantly in his emotional body, needy and reliant on you to organise his world – welcome to the Boy). But then again, if your Girl is on top of your Woman – well, 5-year-old boys and girls are not really ready for the wonderful work of relationships or even moving responsibly into the World as self-sufficient adults. The next question for Men is that “Is your Masculine on top of your Feminine or the other way around?”. Remember we need both, as much as you Women need your Feminine on top of your Masculine. At times, we will draw on one or the other or both together but think about where you are in this balance.
7. We all have doors to unlock and open rooms to clear – dusty, dark rooms with shapes lurking, snarling or sobbing in the corners through lifetimes of neglect. Start to pay attention to yourself – your sleeping, eating, exercise and drinking. Be honest with yourself. Avoidance is a ticket to a movie you would not be willing to pay to see.
8. So if you are ready to go hands down, feet up and maybe even throw in a somersault or two, you may want to read this blog post that I have written on the main tools I use with veterans.
9. Now move into your handstand (metaphorically speaking for you literal folk out there)!